Before you start
Grief, Divorce, and Life Transition Support: Questions Answered
Life Transitions and the Stage Model
DeeplyHeard uses a six-stage framework based on what people in grief communities actually report experiencing: Just Starting, Early Days, A Few Months In, Finding Footing, Rebuilding, and Thriving. Unlike the traditional five-stage Kubler-Ross model, these stages are not a fixed sequence. Most people move through them in waves, revisiting earlier stages as circumstances shift. You can read more in our article on the 6 stages of grief.
Grief does not have a fixed timeline. Most people describe a gradual easing over months and years rather than a definitive ending. The intensity and frequency of acute grief tends to decrease over time, but grief rarely disappears entirely. Many people describe it as something they grow larger around, rather than something that shrinks.
Research and lived accounts suggest that most people need two to four years for substantial emotional integration after a significant marriage ends ( Ahrons, 1994; Hetherington, 2003). The first year tends to be the most acute. This varies based on the length of the relationship, whether children are involved, financial circumstances, and the strength of your support network. There is no failure in moving slowly through something this significant.
Yes. Divorce involves real loss: a relationship, a version of the future, a shared life, often a piece of your identity. Grief is a proportionate response to significant loss, regardless of whether the divorce was your decision or the relationship was unhealthy. Feeling grief does not mean the divorce was the wrong choice.
The five-stage model (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) was developed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in 1969 to describe terminally ill patients. DeeplyHeard's six stages describe the lived experience of people navigating grief and other major life transitions, from the acute early phase through rebuilding and integration. Neither model is a rigid sequence that everyone follows in order.
Getting Started
DeeplyHeard is a private, stage-matched peer support community for people navigating major life transitions: divorce, grief, job loss, serious illness, new parenthood, recovery, empty nest, and financial crisis. You connect with people at the exact same stage of the same event, not just anyone going through something similar.
About three minutes. A short quiz places you in the right community by life event and stage. There are no wrong answers, and you can change your stage at any time.
Yes. A free account is required to access the community, journal, mood tracker, and other tools. You only need an email address and a password. No real name, no social login, no phone number.
Yes. DeeplyHeard is free to use. There are no premium tiers, no paywalled features, and no advertising.
You decide. A short quiz at sign-up asks a few questions about where you are in your experience. Your answers suggest a starting stage, but you confirm it. There are no wrong answers, and you can change your stage at any time. No explanation needed.
No. DeeplyHeard is peer support: people going through similar experiences connecting with each other. It is not therapy, counseling, or a substitute for professional mental health care. If you're working with a therapist, DeeplyHeard can be a complement to that work, not a replacement.
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Find my stage, free and anonymous →Free. Anonymous. No real name required.
Privacy & Safety
No. You choose a username when you sign up, and that is the only identity other members ever see. You can also post anonymously or as "Stage 2 member." Your real name is never required or shown.
Never. We collect only what is necessary to run the platform. We do not sell, share, or license personal data to third parties. You can read our full Privacy Policy at deeplyheard.org/privacy for the complete picture.
No, by design. Social login connects your account to a third-party identity provider, which conflicts with our privacy-first approach. We use email and password only.
Account deletion is immediate. All your data (posts, journal entries, mood logs, milestones, and personal information) is removed within 24 hours. There is no waiting period and no ability to recover a deleted account.
Complicated grief - now formally called Prolonged Grief Disorder in the DSM-5-TR (2022) - is characterized by intense grief that significantly disrupts daily life for more than 6 months after a loss. It affects an estimated 10 to 15 percent of bereaved people. Signs include persistent yearning, difficulty accepting the loss, feeling that life is meaningless without the person, and an inability to engage in normal activities. If this sounds familiar, a mental health professional can help assess whether professional support is warranted.
No. DeeplyHeard is a peer support community, not a crisis intervention service and not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are in crisis, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988, or go to your nearest emergency room.
Please reach out for immediate support. Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day. You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line, or go to your nearest emergency room. DeeplyHeard is here for the ongoing journey, but right now, please talk to someone who can help immediately.
No. We do not share user data with employers, insurers, or any third party. If you access DeeplyHeard on a work device or network, your employer may be able to see that you visited the site, the same as any website. For full privacy, use a personal device on a personal network.
The Community
Each life event has six stages, from Stage 1 (Just Starting) through Stage 6 (Thriving). Stages represent where you are in your journey, not how well you are doing. You can move between stages at any time, in any direction.
Yes, at any time. Go to your profile settings and select a new stage. You're not locked in, and moving stages doesn't reset anything. Your posts, journal, and history stay exactly as they are. If you're between stages and not sure, pick the one that feels closest. You can always adjust later.
Yes. Each life transition (grief, divorce, job loss, illness, etc.) has its own dedicated community space. Your feed defaults to your current stage, and you can browse one stage before or after yours as well. You won't see posts from people in unrelated transitions.
DeeplyHeard has a set of Community Guidelines that all members agree to. The four core rules are: (1) Be honest about where you are, without performing recovery or minimizing your experience. (2) Be kind to others in the community, especially those in the early stages of a transition. (3) Do not offer unsolicited advice — if someone wants suggestions, they will ask. (4) Do not promote products, services, apps, or outside communities. Content that would harm other members — including crisis-triggering material shared without appropriate framing — will be removed. Moderators review flagged content and can remove posts that violate these guidelines.
Posts can receive four types of reactions: a heart ❤️ (this resonates with me), a hug 🫂 (sending you support), a sad 😔 (I feel this too), and a happy 🌱 (this gives me hope). There are no visible counts shown publicly. Reactions are for the person who posted, not for performance.
Tools & Features
Completely. Your journal entries are only visible to you. No other members, moderators, or staff can read them. They exist solely for your personal process.
A simple daily check-in where you rate how you are feeling on a 1–5 scale and add an optional note. Over time, it shows your emotional landscape across the weeks and months of your journey.
Milestones are moments worth recording: the first time something felt easier, a conversation that helped, a day you got through something hard. They form a private timeline of your journey that you can look back on.
Guided Journeys are structured programs, typically 21 to 30 days, with daily prompts and exercises designed for specific life events and stages. They are optional and self-paced. Guided Journeys are filtered to your life transition. You'll see programs designed specifically for your situation, plus universal programs that work for any transition.
Once a week, the Weekly Reflection pulls together your recent journal entries, mood logs, and milestones into a single private summary. It gives you a way to see your week at a glance: what you wrote, how you felt, and what you marked as worth remembering.
Once per day, you can send an anonymous encouraging message to a random member in your community who is in the same life transition. The messages are pre-written by DeeplyHeard. You're simply choosing to send one. The recipient sees the message but has no way of knowing it came from you. It's a small way to remind someone they're not alone.
Your Account
Yes. You can update your username in your profile settings at any time.
Nothing. Your account stays exactly as you left it: journal entries, posts, milestones, all of it. There's no activity requirement, no timeout, and no penalty for taking a break. Come back whenever you're ready.
No. A profile photo is optional. If you don't add one, your profile shows your initials instead. Other members see only your username and, optionally, your photo. Your real name is never shown.
Each account supports one active journey at a time. If you are navigating multiple transitions, focus on the one that needs the most support right now. You can start a new journey after completing or graduating from your current one.
Graduation is a way to mark the end of an active journey when you feel ready to close that chapter. It does not mean you are "fixed" or that the event no longer affects you. It simply acknowledges a transition in your relationship to it.
Can't find what you're looking for? Reach out any time. You can also read more about what DeeplyHeard is and who it's for before you decide, or go back to the DeeplyHeard home page.
Read the full Privacy Policy and Health Data Privacy Policy.
See who’s at your stage.
Private, anonymous, no real name required. The quiz takes three minutes.
Find my stage, free and anonymous →Free. Anonymous. No real name required.