Author
Meilin Chen
Lived experience: grief and divorce
Meilin Chen lost her father and her marriage within eighteen months of each other. She did not move through those losses in stages. She moved through them in spirals, hitting something she thought she was past, then hitting it again from a different angle. She read the Kübler-Ross model during that time and found it more useful as a description of what grief can feel like than as a map of where she was supposed to be. She also encountered George Bonanno's research on resilience, which was the first thing she read that did not make her feel behind. She writes about grief, identity loss, and what it takes to rebuild a sense of self after two central things collapse at once.
Articles by Meilin Chen
The 6 Stages of Grief: What to Actually Expect
The stages of grief model tells you what grief looks like. This is what it actually feels like: the waves, the fog, the guilt, and why month 3 is often harder than month 1.
Grief and Identity: Who Are You Without What You Lost?
When someone central to your life dies, part of your identity goes with them. What grief does to your sense of self, and how people find their way back.
When Grief Comes in Waves: Why the Random Moments Hit So Hard
You can go weeks feeling almost okay. Then a song in a grocery store breaks you open. Why grief works in waves and what to do when one hits unexpectedly.
Divorce Recovery Timeline: What the First Year Actually Looks Like
Divorce recovery does not move in a straight line from broken to healed. A realistic account of what most people actually go through in the first year after separation.
Divorce and Identity: Figuring Out Who You Are Now
Divorce does not just end a marriage. For many people, it triggers an identity crisis. What that actually looks like and what the path back to yourself involves.
Rebuilding After Divorce: What "Moving On" Actually Looks Like
Moving on after divorce does not mean forgetting or replacing. Here is what rebuilding your life actually involves for most people who have been through it.
Peer Support vs. Therapy: What Is the Difference and When Do You Need Each?
Peer support and therapy are not competitors. They do different things for different moments. Here is how to think about which one you need, and whether you might need both.
Who Am I Now That My Kids Are Gone
The house is quiet. The role that organized your days for years is no longer needed in the same way. And the question underneath everything is the one nobody warned you about.
Newly Diagnosed: The First 90 Days Are Their Own Stage
A diagnosis changes the story you were telling yourself about your life. The first three months are their own specific kind of hard, and they deserve to be named.
Layoff Grief Is Real Grief
Losing a job to a layoff triggers the same neurological response as other major losses. The reason it hurts this much is not weakness. It is how loss works.
Who Am I Without My Job
Your job title was never just a job title. For many people, it was a core part of how they answered the question of who they are. What happens when it is gone?
Gray Divorce After 30 Years
Divorce after a long marriage is different from divorce at 30. The identity math is different. The practical stakes are different. And the grief has a specific shape.
Empty Nest Drop-Off Week Survival Guide
The car ride home after you drop your kid at college is one of the stranger experiences of parenthood. Nobody warned you it would feel like this. Here is what to expect and what actually helps.
One Year After Divorce: A Realistic Update
Everyone talks about surviving the first year. Fewer people talk about what the end of it actually feels like. Not healed. Not the same. Something else.
Sandwich Generation: Empty Nest and Aging Parents at the Same Time
Your kids just left. Your parents need more from you than ever. And you are somewhere in the middle, holding both losses and both pulls at the same time.
All articles on DeeplyHeard are written by people with lived experience of the transitions they describe. Read our editorial standards.